


The Saudade Raindrops

by BetweenSheetsAndRaindrops



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: (just in case), A lot of Hartwin feelings probably, Also music is important here guys so please work with me here, M/M, also im not going to add many tags cause idk where im going with this, also im sorry, so if you wanna know whats going to happen then please read on your own accord
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-19 01:36:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4727870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BetweenSheetsAndRaindrops/pseuds/BetweenSheetsAndRaindrops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>au spin from the movie Garden of Words.</p>
<p>A certain tailor and astrophysicist meet under a gazebo after rain pours down on them in what seems like a very mundane morning. Even though they may not know it yet, their morning meet-up sessions under the rain have more impact than they give each other credit too. Strangers and yet a little more intimate that strangers should be, they both end up yearning for the rain to fall every morning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Details

 

 

_For Jay and Dells_

 

Before I start i need you all to please take in that I will add certain music to this piece that fits certain moments. It is optional to listen but really guys consider listening to them when I link them.   
Also consider [listening to ambient rain](http://endlessstorm.com/)  as a background noise but keep it really light (headphones/earbuds are great to listen with).

 

If you've seen Garden of Words then you have a feel of what may happen.

 

I would also like to apologize in advance because I won't add any warnings until I'm done with the whole thing so read at your own accord.

  
Quick little note so you don't get thrown off...

When it's written like this it means that it's a memory/daydream. I wanted to make it distinct.

 

_(sorry)_


	2. One

 

>  
> 
> _**Saudade** /souˈdädə/: A vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist, for something other than the present, which indicates a mental turning toward the past or toward the future. It is not an active discontent or poignant sadness but an indolent, dreaming wistfulness. One can actually have ‘saudades’ of someone with whom one is. In this case it would indicate a feeling of loss projected towards the past or the future._  
>  _It can also be described as the emptiness and absence one feels when something or someone “should” be there in a particular moment, but is missing._

 

 

The smell of crisp cool was in the air and the wind made its presence ever so slightly. One could tell that it was going to rain soon.

Eggsy made his way through a trail path at the park as he headed home after his classes. Today was his day off; he didn’t have any particularly stylish job you see. He worked in as a student assistant at the university. He had been studying for a major in astrophysics, it sounds odd to say since it wasn’t what he had in mind. If anyone were to ask him when he was twenty “where do you see yourself in 6 years?” he would probably tell you that he was going to make it to the Olympics. That he wanted to see the world and meet people, share the passion he held for what he loved to the world. It’s not like he would know that his world would change drastically after an accident.

The monitor was on and the _beep-beep_ was going off as it displayed his heart rate. It was actually sunny that day, not entirely a bad sunny or a lack- in a way- sunny. It was actually a comfortable sunny, where you could tell that even though it was a bright day, it was rather cool but not overwhelmingly so. The doctor popped up, Eggsy hated doctors.

They failed him before, and it’s not that he unappreciated the years that it took them to get where they are. They do try, mind you, but he never liked them entirely. He felt as if they played a guessing game. A game which consisted of you checking in and they do the basics. After that, if you are still in any pain and they can’t find the problem you level up to scanning and more testing. Eggsy was never entirely sure if it was good or bad news when they found the fault. Yes, you got the error which your body seemed to inhabit for whatever reason. It wasn’t your fault, we all have different coding, but it doesn’t make one feel better if they were put in a bed which had white sheets that sat on a room in which, if the walls could talk, would articulate great tragedies or happy endings. The answer to the pain would come as a great relief, it was the small print however, which makes one reconsider. When you hear that they found what’s wrong, and they may follow with “disease”, _that_ is where someone can break. Then there’s the “treatment” which is the small print, here you figure out what you can and can’t get depending on the case. Some have a great chance, others not so much, and so one is left with the decision of how to continue. That’s all there is to it, because in the it’s a fight, the person that carries that “disease”, yes there is support but you aren’t fighting their fight you are merely a spectacle cheering for the optimistic outcome. He wouldn’t want to be a doctor in medicine, he’s seen enough of that side of the spectrum to know he isn’t cut for it. It’s not that Eggsy doesn’t have a strong stomach but he’s seen enough to know that every room has a story and sometimes the cases don’t end in a bright note. He respects the doctors and nurses, he know that it may get hard for them, and perhaps not all are doing it for money, but he simply dislikes the game.

Like many, he was checked in and the basics were taken down. After a while the doctor showed and the verdict was given.

It’s funny, people are told they die, it doesn’t matter the reason we all inevitably die. That’s the first thing we have in common, it’s a universal truth. What’s certainly hilarious is that throughout our lives we are killed in different levels. No, we don’t die as in we are buried six underground, we die from the inside out. Slowly rotting, like an apple you bite but you don’t notice it’s no good until you bite deeper. Then you want to puke because you had no clue it was a rotten apple and you ate some. That’s what life does to you, certain events change you and you decay from the inside. It’s these events that cause a three sixty spin in your regular lifestyle. So if someone tells you that you simply can’t continue what you love you can’t do much about it. You have family to think about, you have ties to this world along with responsibilities that make you drop the passion you hold because your DNA coding said so. Because you have no way of knowing that you would at some point in the future you were going to be told so. You couldn’t know that your DNA had other plans in your life, that you would love something so much, aspire to be better with what you love, to simply end up in a bed with white sheets, your finger caught in a plastic that connected to a monitor that displayed your heart rate. All to find that you can’t do what sometimes fails to be put in words. And you are caught in between what you thought you knew, what we feel can be so particularly certain. But it goes to show that when something in your life is going so well, some part has to be disabled. We can’t have it all, that is true, but it doesn’t mean that life has to be that cold. Then again, it’s life. As far as the treatment go, it’s never jolly. You make a decision and that’s that.

[Light droplets started to fall from the sky](http://endlessstorm.com/). Eggsy could hear the _pit-pat_ which came from the contact they made as they hit a surface when they fell. He took refuge in a gazebo, it seems as if the landscape was hiding him from the rest of the world, which he thank since it was times like these where he felt detached from his life. He felt relaxed and to a certain degree, okay.

He sat in the bench and sat his black leather bag next to him and opened it to take out a beer he had bought along with a book he had to make notes on. He looked out to the trees, he could see the water falling on one tree that was close by. The branches were elongated and some close enough for him to reach if he were standing under it. The rain made a statement of being present as it made music with the landing of each individual drop. Eggsy took a sip of his beer once he opened it and took his surroundings in, this simple moment of peace, he closed his eyes and drowned in it.

Steps of shoes brought him back to reality as he opened his eyes to find a man in a suit standing on the edge of the entrance of the gazebo.

__________________________

Harry was on his way back from verifying the material that was ordered. He decided to make his way through the park, he needed time to think clearly. The sky was a cloudy, they had said it would rain, not that he was surprised. Usually walks could make him think of what step he would take next. Merlin would find it funny that he walked to figure out the next step, since he was walking to get an answer. Harry would tell him that at least he doesn’t run from his reality, since Merlin would run while listening to podcasts. Technically, he was running from reality as he listened to real world topics, as he ran to “de-stress”, right, “ _de_ -stress” ha.

The shop had been going fine, but Harry needed to make a new statement. He always had, mind you, but he felt that this had to be extra special. Kingsman Tailors was hitting its anniversary soon, thirty years and still strong. He had opened the shop with his best mate Merlin, he loved to make pieces, he gathered he took it up from his father. Harry had a degree in fashion and the other in marketing. When he had told Merlin what he had in mind, he thought it was a great idea because Harry had “a gift for suits”. Harry had invited Merlin to be his partner in the business “I have the gift and you have the brains”. It wasn’t that Harry made himself less, rather he knew that his talent laid in the art of creating and Merlin’s in numbers. He wasn’t sure if Merlin would agree, but he knew he had to ask, of course Merlin loved the idea and was on the same page as Harry. So in their mid-twenties they opened up a shop and they have been up and running ever since. It’s not a huge corporation that was made globally, but it was enough to catch attention. Harry’s designs were superb and they sold greatly. Merlin never brought up the topic of expansion and neither did Harry. They both had a subtle unspoken agreement to simply keep it at home. Plus they became an exclusive brand and the online world made it even better.

As any artist of any sort, there comes a time where they hit a rut. Harry hit those often, he simply needed muse but it was difficult to gather at times. His walks would help out even if a little. The rain started to hit great his clothing along with his awareness. Started to pick up the pace, as if that was going to help his situation, and he caught the eye of a gazebo.

He made his way to the refuge, but before he could make it all the way in he saw a young man sitting in one of the benches. He was close, a simple steps away and yet he was so far. As if he was in another galaxy, vibrant and serene. He simply _was_. He was dressed casually and yet a bit more. A black t-shirt, jeans, and a simple gray dress coat that had a front pocket.

His eyes opened, those green blue eyes were even more alive with the lighting caused by the weather. He just stared coming back from his voyage.

“Mornin’.” He spoke, and a small smile started to form.

Harry couldn’t help but smile at the young lad. “Good evening, I hope I’m not interrupting.”

The young man laughed and responded with a no, he seemed to have been caught exploring the unknown sites from the universe, which many don’t notice him do.

Harry took a seat in the bench of the left of the lad, they both sat in comfortable silence.

Harry took out his sketchbook from the pocket inside his coat which he carried at all times. As an artist, sometimes ideas come and they can’t be stopped. The amount of times he’s had to “pause” his showers, along with the times where he’s having a bite with Merlin and ends up drawing down his ideas in napkins were getting ridiculous. Merlin had enough of it, it was outrageous to go out to a restaurant and Harry ask if he could take the napkin “I can pay for it, but please if it isn’t too much trouble I’d like to take it”. Yeah, Merlin just about had it since Harry would come in and tell him about the sketches he had and would pull out cloth napkins. So Merlin bought him a sketchbook, one which Harry could carry everywhere. He had actually bought a box full of them, he knew Harry would forget to get another if he finished the book he currently had. It was easy to tell after a while when Harry would run through them.  
  
Harry started with an outline, as his sketch bloomed. He had an idea for a three piece, a suit in blue.

After around half an hour, Harry had made enough progress that he was already writing notes on the details on the piece. From the cloth to the types of shoes that were to go along. It was then that he subtly took a peek at the lad. He looked at him from head to toe, he sat cross legged looking out. Harry caught sight of the beer which sat in the bench next to his book. Beer at this time in the morning?...

His pencil seemed to have a mind of its own because it was then that it decided to roll way from him. Damn pencil, seems that he also had interest in the guy, no that he mind, in fact the pencil seem to also have implacable taste. Then again it might have been curious as to what, or rather who, had brought this spark of muse on to its owner. Harry was about to reach it when the young man bent and grabbed it.

“Here” he spoke, than gave it to Harry.

Harry took it, “thank you” was all he said. He wanted to say more but couldn’t seem to do so. He continued to draw. He had a distinct feeling he may of known him, that smile he gave him was so particular but he wasn’t all sure.

“Excuse me, but do I know you?”

It seemed to have taken the young man by surprised, the fact that Harry was speaking to him. “Um, no I don’t think so”.

Harry gave him an apologetic smile and excused his mistake. “I might of confused you with someone else”.

He gave him a small smile “It’s alight”. They sat there, back in silence, both man in their own world knowing full well they weren’t alone, and yet it was a nice gesture since they both knew they were doing that together and didn’t feel completely alienated from the rest of the world.

__________________

Eggsy took a sip of his beer, and glanced at the man in the bench. No he’s certain he didn’t know him, it seemed impossible. He may daydream an awful lot but that didn’t mean his memory ever failed him. He would have known that face. A man like that, especially one who looked so posh, he would definitely remember that. Then he saw those cuffs. He’s seen that before, that symbol.

“Eggsy c’mon, we all do it, at least I hope we all do. What’s wrong with being able to treat yourself with something now and then?”

“I dunno, maybe the fact that if someone was “treating themselves” it would be because they _are_ treating _themselves_ and not by someone else?” he replied with an eyebrow raise as he looked as Roxy.

She laughed, “yeah alright but it would actually work if, in fact, you _actually_ treated yourself something you know”.

She was actually right, Eggsy had a terrible thing of not actually knowing how to spoil himself when he needed to. And my, he was indeed one of those people that needed it. He did have a lot going on and in fact needed to reward himself with something, anything for that matter. You see, Eggsy wasn’t like that, Roxy knew that and that’s why most of the time she was the one to spoil him for himself. Someone needed to, someone needed to take him by the shoulders and shake him. To tell him to come back to earth, to tell him that he needed to go out and have a bit of fun since he didn’t do it for himself. Therefore, Roxy took it all upon herself onto the task, especially since Eggsy had changed so much since the start of university and understood where he stood.

So she took Eggsy into the shop, she had bought a suit there before. Gazelle’s wedding with V, now that was a wedding. Not that Eggsy had any particular sentiment on weddings but damn, Valentine can throw a damn reception. Who was to stop him, he loves Gazelle so much she was feisty but Eggsy did like her. She was quick and such a strong woman, not only literally but also in soul, which was something he admired her for. Gazelle had asked Roxy to buy a suit because she wanted her bridesmaids to look posh and deadly. It was a weird concept for them to wear suits however this was Gazelle. She knew what she was doing and no one really objected to the idea. The day of the wedding they looked smoking and definitely deadly.

He walked into the shop, there was samples of suits right in front of the shop’s window. The window had the word “Kingsman” in gold lettering and a symbol in the top. A circle with a laid down “K” inside it, this one was also in gold.

“You’ll love it!”

“Roxy, I reckon I probably will yeh’ but why would I buy it? _How?_ Plus it ain’t like I’ll use it.”

Roxy just stared at him, “hmmm, that does seem like quite a predicament, ill guess I’ll just have to take you out to show it off then.” Eggsy couldn’t help but laugh, dear lord she was something else when she was determined. “As for the money, it’s on me. Don’t give me that face! My uncle works for this company alright?”

“Wait, I thought he majored in literature, didn’t he publish po-“

 “Yes, he is and yes he did, but a friend of his which is the Co-CEO asked him to invest in the shop. He ended up liking it and he stuck around so now he does some advertising whenever he does book tours as well. Plus I told his friend and he had no objection with this favor, he owes me after a night of poker anyway.”

Needless to say Eggsy was pushed into a dressing room where his measurements were taken, however he never got the suit. It’s not that he didn’t like it or even that the shop didn’t make it. It was simply the fact that Eggsy never picked it up. Not that he wasn’t gracious with Roxy’s gift, he just simply never got around to go to the shop again. Roxy did nag him after a few days but the subject was lost after a while, he’s sure she still remembers but neither of them really bring it up at all.

“It seems fitting” he said after a while. He began to pack his book and the empty beer in the leather bag. The soft scribbles of the pencil were put on halt.

_“A faint clap of thunder;”_

He slipped the long handle of the bag in his shoulder. Rain was now falling faintly, the faint thunder making itself known in the distance.

_“Clouded skies;  
Perhaps rain comes”_

He was now walking away from the bench, heading home.

_“– if so, will you stay here with me?”_

He left the gazebo as he recited the last line of the verse. The gentleman in the suit just watched him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: thesurroundingbeauty


	3. Two

[The silence of Harry’s office was filled with the piano and the guitar sounds that came from the speakers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyniMKRy_gY). The sound was soothing and helped him work on his tasks. He was looking through the samples of cloth, still trying to pick point the exact blue he saw. He couldn’t quite make up his mind, they all seemed off in some way.

There was two knocks on the door and Harry called out to come in. “Isn’t it a little late to work now?” Merlin pointed out as he looked at his watch which marked quarter past midnight. His Scottish accent was still heard, it wasn’t unbelievably heavy, but one could still make it out.

“Shouldn’t you be home? You know the place where you live? _–_ Pardon, I seemed to have forgotten you have a bed in your office. Or was it in one of the fitting rooms?” Harry teased, but of course he wouldn’t be surprised if he had one somewhere in the shop. Merlin is known to be a workaholic, not that Harry wasn’t. Of course he denied he was since it was “muse” and “you can’t simply stop it once it’s on”. “Bullocks Harry,” Merlin would call out, “you are as much of a workaholic as I am”, but of course Harry always denies it.

“Yes, well at least I can settle for a color. Or do you not remember your living room wall, by the way did you ever get it done?” he asked oh so innocently. He knew Harry hadn’t done anything to that wall because he couldn’t settle on the right color he wanted. Apparently they all seemed off.

Harry followed to ignore said “innocent” question and continue with the endless blue hunt.

“I’m guessing you did find your answer.” Merlin said as he recalled Harry’s morning walk. He made his way to the table where his friend was working. Harry handed him the sketch he made earlier that morning. “My, my, this is quite a suit.”

“It’s not done yet, not if I can’t find the right blue for the notes on it.”

Merlin left the room, Harry paid little attention to his leaving. He came back in with three rolls of cloth which were covered with a white sheet. He sat the white sheet of cloth which he extended in the table and placed out the three rolls on top of it. This was a tactic Merlin often used to get Harry to center. He may not be the one with the gift of making the pieces but he did learn enough to help his friend out. The point of this was to fixate on the white which would bring whichever color was lying on it. When one sees a color so often when searching the right one they desire, the eyesight sometimes gets overwhelmed and the brain can’t make any decision. The white is used like coffee beans in a perfume shop. It’s a neutral base which you come back to once you get mixed senses of everything. Once he put all three he added a couple more of the ones Harry had out already, which were closest to the ones he got. Harry took a moment to finally relax his eyesight and really see. He got one of the blue rolls Merlin had brought in and smiled. “In all honesty, I may have shot myself in the foot without your help.”

Merlin laughed, “It’s obvious you would, but please keep in mind we work in a tailor shop. I don’t want to see blood in the cloths, it’s a fucking struggle to get the ones we want sometimes.”

Harry laughed and stacked the rolls which he didn’t need anymore. “I’ll make a mental note of it,” Harry reached into his pocket and handed a piece of paper to Merlin, “have you heard this before?”

The bald man took the paper, he read it and his eyebrow arched. “Can’t say I have, you should ask Percival though he probably has a good idea of it.” Merlin lay the paper down on the table and made his way to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow alright? Don’t forget that you have a meeting with Arthur early in the morning.” Harry physically flinched with disgust at the mention of the name. Merlin smirked, “likewise my friend.” Tomorrow was definitely going to be a long day.

 

Morning came too soon for Harry, then again he had to wake up earlier than usual on this particular day. He hated mornings, the only reassurance of a possible good day was that he was going to do this meeting and get it over it already. He was sluggish in his awakening. He opened his eyes, still lying in bed, everything was quiet. The echo of _pitter-patter_ was slowly bringing him back to the real world as the water knocked softly on the window. After a while he sat up in the end of his bed, then finally gathered the courage to move to the shower. After getting ready he made his way downstairs, his phone buzzed.

> _Merlin:  
>  _ Apparently we are having breakfast. Try not to come with a weak stomach.

 

Fuck, this this morning was seriously going to be long.

> _Harry:  
>  _ I can’t help it if I’m feeling ill you know. Vomiting is something the body does to tell us we are sick you know. I do thank for the update telling me I’m poisoned.

 

Harry made his way out and locked the door behind him, his phone buzzed once more

> _Merlin:_  
>  Poison? I thought it be by the unpleasant sight as you ate _._

 

Harry couldn’t help but laugh, god they were such children when it came to shit like this, especially involving Arthur.

____________________

[**](https://youtu.be/ZGHVX6pDVKc)

Eggsy laid in the bed face to the mattress, the sheet came up to his hips. If it weren’t for the light rain hitting his apartment it would be dead quiet.

[He stayed there sprawled not moving a muscle.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IGBvAEFd0I) He didn’t want to move at all, he didn’t have to go out today. His class had been canceled, his professor couldn’t make it for some reason or another. Eggsy didn’t really care, he was just glad he didn’t have to get up. That was always a difficult thing to do. To make his muscles move to do tasks, even simple ones for that matter. He despised to get up now a days.

_Tap- tap, tap-tap, tap-tap-tap-tap-tap._

The bed sank and giggles took over the falling noice of the rain. Eggsy grabbed the small body that had jumped on the bed while he was laying down and began to tickle it. The giggles grew into laughter and Eggsy joined the carefree laughter, “I got you, didn’t think I would but I did!” Screams would follow by breathless and giggled “stop” here and there. The small body would squirm and try to fight against Eggsy. “Nuh none’o  that, you’re my prisoner now!” The laughter would grow louder as the little one would try, and fail, to escape the tickling Eggsy continued to do.

After Eggsy had enough for his own amusement he stopped but still held the little body, hugging it by the torso. After their hearts and breathing calmed, Eggsy laid back again and brought the small body down with him. He laid tummy up, and the small one snuggled in his side, head laying on his upper chest.

The rain was still falling lightly outside.

“You know what?” he asked, after a beat of silence and snuggled the little one closer to him. Roses, that’s what her hair smelled of. He smiled and whispered into her hair, “you’re my lil’ flower”. A giggled escaped from her and she stretched her free arm to hug him as best she could. With his other hand he played with her soft hair, and repeated “my little flower”.

_Buzzz-buzzz._

He was still lying face down on the mattress. He could see the light of his phone go off in the nightstand by the bed. He wondered who it was but didn’t reach out to find out. After what seemed like not enough time for him personally, he made his limbs work. He sat in the edge of his bed, thinking of how easily it would be if he just laid back again. He could stay in all day, it wasn’t like he had to go to work he could just skip. Plus, his boss was out of town and didn’t really keep tabs on Eggsy.

_Buzzz-buzzz._

Eggsy turned his head to look at the phone again still dismissing it. He forced his body up and towards the bathroom where he got in the shower. He didn’t really bother to close the door anymore. He took his time just standing under the water. He turned it off once the warm water ran out and dried himself lazily. He went to his room and once he was fully dressed and ready he went to the kitchen.

He opened the door of the refrigerator. Empty. Right, he’d forgotten to grab some actual groceries yesterday.

_Buzzz-buzzz._

He took the phone out of his pocket

> _G-mail: Campus Updates  
>  _ Subj.: Reach for The Stars: Financial Tuition and Scholarship Applications!

He laughed in a sardonic manner, “right, the stars”. He slid his finger through the screen to delete the update.

> _Rox:  
>  _ Where are you? I passed by the office for breakfast 

Damn, he had made plans with Roxy for the morning. That would explain why he hadn’t bother to buy groceries yesterday.

> _Rox:_  
>  I’m guessing you skipped again –sigh- you wound me _Eggy_


End file.
